TRACOM (SOCIAL STYLE®) states that 70% of all communication is non-verbal and 20% is tone. In the movie, Hitch, Hitch states that 90% of all communication is non-verbal (60% non-verbal and 30% tone)
Our ability to build good, vibrant, and healthy relationships with others depends first on our ability to effectively communicate. Our success depends on our ability to develop proper relationships with each person with whom we come into contact.
Most of us may not consider communication and relationship building as much of a skill as it is a common practice. However, communicating with others and the building of relationships with others is not only an art, but it is rooted or founded in science. The ability to put the art and the science together becomes a skill. The better we are at knowing and then applying the science of communication, the more effective we will be at developing the art of effectively relating with others.
“90% of all communication is non-verbal…” Hitch from the movie Hitch
Too often we miss what others are saying to us because we spend more time listening to what a person says, not how a person says it. The behavior of those we interact with and our own behavior provide more information on how they and we prefer to be treated than all the words expressed in a given moment. Knowing how to observe behaviors and what those specific behaviors tell us opens doors to better communication and better relationships for us with our spouses, family, friends, co-workers, and others we meet throughout a day.
Not Good Enough!
Many people today are distressed with a haunting fear of being not good enough. Not being good enough can mean wholly different things for individuals – from a work environment to a love relationship. Yet, we were created with uniqueness to be unlike anyone else. We are unique in our style of behavior, our talents, our strengths, our personality, our presence in this world. What is more accurate than, “I’m not good enough,” is “When I compare myself to others, when I attend self-help seminars, when I read self-help books, and when I do my job, I’m comparing myself to someone’s standard of their being enough.” Of course you can’t be good enough for their standard! You shouldn’t be! But, you are more than enough to be who you were created to be!
Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it's stupid.”
“If there is a purpose to life at all, there must also be a purpose in our suffering and dying. But no man can tell another what his purpose is. Each must find out for himself, and must accept the responsibility that his answer prescribes. If he succeeds he will continue to grow in spite of all indignities.” Gordon W. Allport, psychologist and Harvard University Professor
"Ask a person repeatedly to do something for which they have no adequate response in their repertoire" Donald Clifton